Costello:  Hey, Abbott!
Abbott:    Yes, Lou?
Costello:  I just got my first computer.
Abbott:    That’s great Lou. What did you get?
Costello:  A Pentium II-266, with 40 Megs of RAM, a 2.1 Gig hard drive, and a 24X CD-ROM.
Abbott:    That’s terrific, Lou
Costello:  But I don’t know what any of it means!!
Abbott:    You will in time.
Costello:  That’s exactly why I am here to see you.
Abbott:    Oh?
Costello:  I heard that you are a real computer expert.
Abbott:    Well, I don’t know-
Costello:  Yes-sir-ee. You know your stuff. And you’re going to train me.
Abbott:    Really?
Costello:  Uh huh. And I am here for my first lesson.
Abbott:    O.K. Lou. What do you want to know?
Costello:  I am having no problem turning it on, but I heard that you should be very careful how you turn it off.
Abbott:    That’s true.
Costello:  So, here I am working on my new computer and I want to turn it off. What do I do?Abbott:    Well, first you press the Start button, and then-
Costello:  No, I told you, I want to turn it off.
Abbott:    I know, you press the Start button-
Costello:  Wait a second. I want to turn it off. Off. I know how to start it. So tell me what to do.
Abbott:    I did.
Costello:  When?
Abbott:    When I told you to press the Start button.
Costello:  Why should I press the Start button?
Abbott:    To shut off the computer.
Costello:  I press Start to stop.
Abbott:    Well Start doesn’t actually stop the computer.
Costello:  I knew it! So what do I press.
Abbott:    Start
Costello:  Start what?
Abbott:    Start button.
Costello:  Start button to do what?
Abbott:    Shut down.
Costello:  You don’t have to get rude!
Abbott:    No, no, no! That’s not what I meant.
Costello:  Then say what you mean.
Abbott:    To shut down the computer, press-
Costello:  Don’t say, “Start!”
Abbott:    Then what do you want me to say?
Costello:  Look, if I want to turn off the computer, I am willing to press the Stop button, the End button and Cease and Desist button, but no one in their right mind presses the Start to Stop.
Abbott:    But that’s what you do.
Costello:  And you probably Go at Stop signs, and Stop at green lights.
Abbott:    Don’t be ridiculous.
Costello:  I am being ridiculous? Well. I think it’s about time we started this conversion.
Abbott:    What are you talking about?
Costello:  I am starting this conversation right now. Good-bye.

Author Unknown

1. It is illegal to die in the Houses of Parliament.

2. It is an act of treason to place a postage stamp bearing the British monarch upside-down.

3. In Liverpool, it is illegal for a woman to be topless except as a clerk in a tropical fish store.

4. Mince pies cannot be eaten on Christmas Day.

5. In Scotland, if someone knocks on your door and requires the use of your toilet, you must let them enter.

6. A pregnant woman can legally relieve herself anywhere she wants, including in a policeman’s helmet.

7. It is illegal to avoid telling the tax man anything you do not want him to know, but legal not to tell him information you do not mind him knowing.

8. It is illegal to enter the Houses of Parliament in a suit of armour.

9. In the city of York it is legal to murder a Scotsman within the ancient city walls, but only if he is carrying a bow and arrow.

This is an abbreviated version of the article published in Yahoo News 11/7/2007

Listen to the words of this and apply them to your life and business.