Archive for January, 2009

Classified Ads – Part 2

Tuesday, January 27th, 2009 at 10:51 pm  
Leave your comment

Here is some proof that proofreading is important!
Mixing bowl set designed to please a cook with round bottom for efficient beating.

For sale: an antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and large drawers.

Four-poster bed, 101 years old.  Perfect for antique lover.

Wanted.  Widower with school-age children requires person to assume general housekeeping duties.  Must be capable of contributing to growth of family.

The hotel has bowling alleys, tennis courts, comfortable beds, and other athletic facilities.

Mt.Kilimanjaro, the breathtaking backdrop for the Serena Lodge. Swim in the lovely pool while you drink it all in.

Author Unknown

Jerry Posey

Funeral Story

Sunday, January 25th, 2009 at 12:28 am  
Leave your comment

As a young bagpiper, I was asked by a funeral director to play at a grave-side service for a homeless man, with no family or friends.

The funeral was to be held at a cemetery way back in the country, and this man would be the first to be laid to rest there.

As I was not familiar with the backwoods area, I became lost; and being a typical man did not stop for directions. I finally arrived an hour late. I saw the backhoe and the crew, who were eating lunch, but the hearse was nowhere in sight.

I apologized to the workers for my tardiness, and stepped to the side of the open grave, where I saw the vault lid already in place.

I assured the workers I would not hold them up for long, but this was the proper thing to do. The workers gathered around, still eating their lunch. I played out my heart and soul.

As I played the workers began to weep. I played, and I played, like I’d never played before: From My Home & The Lord is my Shepherd to Flowers of the Forest .

I closed the lengthy session with Amazing Grace and walked to my car.

As I was opening the door and taking off my coat, I overheard one of the workers saying to another,

“Jeezuz, Mary’n Joseph, I never seen nothin’ like that before – and I’ve been putting in septic tanks for twenty years.”

Jerry Posey

Enlightenment Test

Tuesday, January 20th, 2009 at 8:41 pm  
Leave your comment

How Enlightened Are You? A Test:
Well. . .
If you can live without caffeine or nicotine;
If you can be cheerful, ignoring aches and pains;
If you can resist complaining;
If you can understand when loved ones are too busy to give you any time;
If you can take criticism and blame without resentment;
If you can ignore friends’ limited educations and never correct them;
If you can treat the rich and poor alike;
If you can face the world without lies or deceit;
If you can conquer tension without medical help;
If you can relax without liquor;
If you can sleep without the aid of drugs;
If you can have no prejudice against creed, color, religion, gender, sexual preference, or politics
 
…then you have almost reached the same level of spiritual development as your dog.
 
ANONYMOUS

Jerry Posey