Once upon a time there was a stork family, daddy stork, mommy stork and baby stork.

One evening daddy stork didn’t show up for dinner. Mommy stork and baby stork waited up for him but he didn’t come home at all that night.

When daddy stork finally came home the next day, baby stork asked, “Daddy stork, where were you last night?”

“Out making a young couple very happy,” replied daddy stork.

Several weeks later, baby stork was late for dinner. Daddy stork and mommy stork were worried. Their worry increased when baby stork still wasn’t home by dark. They both waited up late for baby stork but he didn’t come in until early in the morning. His feathers were rumpled and unkempt.

Daddy stork barked, “Where were you, baby stork?”

“Out scaring the heck out of some college students,” replied baby stork.

A defense attorney was cross-examining a police officer during a felony trial.

Q. Officer, did you see my client fleeing the scene?
A. No sir, but I subsequently observed a person matching the description of the offender running several blocks away.

Q. Officer, who provided this description?
A. The officer who responded to the scene.

Q. A fellow officer provided the description of this so called offender. Do you trust your fellow officers?
A. Yes sir, with my life.

Q. With your life? Let me ask you this then officer, do you have a locker room in the police station, a room where you change your clothes in preparation for your daily duties?
A. Yes sir, we do.

Q. And do you have a locker in that room?
A. Yes sir, I do.

Q. And do you have a lock on your locker?
A. Yes sir.

Q. Now why is it, officer, if you trust your fellow officers with your life, that you find it necessary to lock your locker in a room you share with those same officers?

A. You see sir, we share the building with a court complex, and sometimes lawyers have been known to walk through that room.

Bill, a lawyer, and John an investment banker, are bungee-jumping one day.

Bill says to John, “You know, we could make a lot of money running our own bungee-jumping service in Mexico.”

John thinks this is a great idea and provides financing. Then, they buy everything they’ll need: a tower, an elastic cord, insurance, etc. Bill obtains the necessary permits to operate, etc. They travel to Mexico and begin to set up on the square.

As they are constructing the tower, a crowd begins to assemble. Slowly, more and more people gather to watch them at work. When they finish, there is such a crowd they decide it is a good idea to give a demonstration.

Bill, the lawyer, being quite adventurous, decided to jump. He bounces at the end of the cord, but when he comes back up Joe notices that he has a few cuts and scratches. Unfortunately, John isn’t able to catch him, and he falls again, bounces and comes back up again. This time, he is bruised and bleeding. Again John misses him. Bill falls again and bounces back up. This time he comes back pretty messed up-he’s got a couple of broken bones and is almost unconscious.

Luckily, John catches him this time and says, “What happened? Was the cord too long?”

Barely able to speak, Bill gasps, “No, the cord was fine, but what’s a pinata?”