A defense attorney was cross-examining a police officer during a felony trial.

Q. Officer, did you see my client fleeing the scene?
A. No sir, but I subsequently observed a person matching the description of the offender running several blocks away.

Q. Officer, who provided this description?
A. The officer who responded to the scene.

Q. A fellow officer provided the description of this so called offender. Do you trust your fellow officers?
A. Yes sir, with my life.

Q. With your life? Let me ask you this then officer, do you have a locker room in the police station, a room where you change your clothes in preparation for your daily duties?
A. Yes sir, we do.

Q. And do you have a locker in that room?
A. Yes sir, I do.

Q. And do you have a lock on your locker?
A. Yes sir.

Q. Now why is it, officer, if you trust your fellow officers with your life, that you find it necessary to lock your locker in a room you share with those same officers?

A. You see sir, we share the building with a court complex, and sometimes lawyers have been known to walk through that room.

1. You sit down to breakfast and hear “Snap, Crackle, and Pop”….and you haven’t even poured milk on your cereal yet.

2. You get up to change the TV channel and decide as long as you’re up, you might as well go to bed.

3. You start complaining that “They’re building car seats too darn low!”

4. Your ears perk up when a LAXATIVE COMMERCIAL comes on TV.

5. You call the place you keep leftovers the “ICEBOX”.

6. No matter where you sit, no matter where you are, THERE’S
ALWAYS A DRAFT ON YOU!

7. You complain that the cleaners has started shrinking your clothes.

8. You wonder why everyone else is starting to MUMBLE.

9. Lawn care has become a pretty BIG part of your life.

10. Your underwear starts creeping up on you..AND YOU ENJOY IT!

11. You start videotaping DAYTIME game shows.

12. When you do the HOKEY POKEY and you “put your left hip out” .. IT STAYS OUT!

13. One of the throw pillows on your bed is a HOT WATER BOTTLE.

14. You think of a “quickie” as napping at a traffic light.