There were two nuns..

One of them was known as Sister Mathematical (SM),

and the other one was known as Sister Logical (SL).

It is getting dark and they are still far away from the
convent.

SM: Have you noticed that a man has been following us
for
The past thirty-eight and a half minutes? I wonder what
he wants.

SL: It’s logical. He wants to rape us.

SM: Oh, no! At this rate he will reach us in 15 minutes

at the most! What can we do?

SL: The only logical thing to do of course is to walk
faster.

SM: It’s not working.

SL: Of course it’s not working. The man did the only
logical thing. He started to walk faster, too.

SM: So, what shall we do? At this rate he will reach us
in one minute.

SL: The only logical thing we can do is split. You go
that way and
I’ll go this way. He cannot follow us both.

So the man decided to follow Sister Logical.

Sister Mathematical arrives at the convent and is
worried about what has happened to Sister Logical.

Then Sister Logical arrives.

SM: Sister Logical! Thank God you are here!
Tell me what happened!

SL: The only logical thing happened.
The man couldn’t follow us both, so he followed me

SM: Yes, yes! But what happened then?

SL: The only logical thing happened. I started to run
as fast as I could and he started to run as fast as he
could.

SM: And?

SL: The only logical thing happened. He reached me.

SM: Oh, dear! What did you do?

SL: The only logical thing to do.
I lifted my dress up.

SM: Oh, Sister! What did the man do?

SL: The only logical thing to do.
He pulled down his pants.

SM: Oh, no! What happened then?

SL: Isn’t it logical, Sister?
A nun with her dress up can run faster than a man
with his pants down.

And for those of you who thought the end would be dirty,

Say two Hail Marys!

1. Anger is a condition in which the tongue works faster than the mind.

2. You can’t change the past, but you can ruin the present by worrying over the future.

3. Love ……and you shall be loved.

4. God always gives His best to those who leave the choice with Him.

5. All people smile in the same language.

6. A hug is a great gift…one size fits all. It can be given for any occasion and it’s easy to exchange.

7. Everyone needs to be loved…especially when they do not deserve it.

8. The real measure of a man’s wealth is what he has invested in eternity.

9. Laughter is God’s sunshine.

10. Everything has beauty but not everyone sees it.

This story courtesy of http://www.homeholidaysfamilyandfun.com

My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table.
My wife asked, ‘Do you know her?’
‘Yes,’ I sighed, ‘she’s my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago and I hear she hasn’t been sober since.’
‘My God!’ says my wife, ‘Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?’
And that’s how the fight started …

Author Unknown