My Darling Husband,

Before you return from your business trip I just want to let you know about the small slip-up I had with the pickup truck when I turned into the driveway. Fortunately it’s not too bad and I really didn’t get hurt, so please don’t worry too much about me.

I was coming home from the store, and when I turned into the driveway I accidentally pushed down on the accelerator instead of the brake.

The garage door is slightly bent but the pickup fortunately came to a halt when it bumped into your car.

Yes, your Tesla concept car. There’s a little dent in it. I am enclosing a picture for you. I am really sorry, but I know with your kind-hearted personality you will forgive me. You know how much I love you and care for you, my sweetheart.

I cannot wait to hold you in my arms again.

Your loving wife.

P.S. Your girlfriend called.

Author Unknown

Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, grabbed the dog, and slipped quietly into the garage.
I hooked my boat up to the truck, and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour.
The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad all day.
I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed.
I cuddled up to my wife’s back, now with a different anticipation, and whispered, ‘The weather out there is terrible.’
My loving wife of 10 years replied, ‘Can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that?’
And that’s how the fight started …

Author Unknown