OLD people have problems that you haven’t even considered yet!

Friday, December 18th, 2009 at 12:21 pm  
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An 85-year-old man was requested by his Doctor for a sperm count as part of his  physical exam.

The doctor gave the man a  jar and said, ‘Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow.’

The next day  the 85-year-old man reappeared at the doctor’s office and gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the previous day.

The doctor  asked what happened and the man explained, ‘Well, doc, it’s like this – first I tried with my right hand, but nothing.   Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing..

‘Then I asked my wife for help.  She tried with  her right hand, then with her left, still nothing. She tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in,  then with her teeth out, still  nothing.

‘She even called up Arleen, the lady next door and she tried too, first with both hands, then an armpit, and she even tried squeezin’ it between her knees, but still nothing.’

The doctor was shocked! ‘You asked your neighbor?’
   
The old man replied, ‘Yep, none of us could get the jar open.’
Jerry Posey

If You Were

Tuesday, May 8th, 2007 at 12:00 am  
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If you were busy being kind,
Before you knew it you would find
You’d soon forget to think `twas true
That someone was unkind to you.

If you were busy being glad
And cheering people who seem sad,
Although your heart might ache a bit,
You’d soon forget to notice it.

If you were busy being good,
And doing just the best you could,
You’d not have time to blame some man
Who’s doing just the best he can.

If you were busy being true
To what you know you ought to do,
You’d be so busy you’d forget
The blunders of the folks you’ve met.

Author Unknown

Jerry Posey